26 Jan I am.
These words are meaningless without you not only reading them but also feeling them profoundly. That goes for everything else in the world.
How do you write about this without getting all entangled in your limitations? You don’t. You write what you can, following your heart and gut feeling. And hoping. Especially that.
I hope we will connect. It’s up to you and me, nobody else. It’s our choice alone. Do you want to try? I do. That’s why I write this.
Okay, what’s with the title? I am. Well, it’s not just arbitrary or overly spiritual. I quoted somebody.
In the early 1900s, The Times supposedly posed a question to prominent authors: “What’s wrong with the world today?” (Strange, that even back then, there would be something wrong with the world…)
One well-known author responded like this:
Yours, G.K. Chesterton”
Reading this, I am left speechless. I felt the words. He’s right.
Well, it’s not about being right… What matters is that I feel him and I feel with him. I find it in my soul that what’s wrong with the world today is me.
Now, I spent many many years learning self-love. Learning what self-love is, to me. So I’m not saying this lightly. When I blame myself as the culprit for all the problems in the world, I only want to say this.
Nobody else is more, or less, responsible for the state of our world than I am.
If you can feel that too the question is: what do we do now?
I don’t know about you, but I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I’ll do my best to put this feeling, this knowing, into daily practice. In my case, there is plenty to do.
Firstly, I’ll remain as conscious of my “I am” as possible. Because I’ve already experienced many times how easy it is to forget all about it. Denial is strong. Whenever I simply and quite humanly refuse to feel negative in any way — I’ll automatically deny it. That’s our built-in coping mechanism. Everyone has it. And it’s good. It has value. It has led us to this moment in life and history. And if we want to evolve and move on perhaps we can create a fresh way of dealing with negativity. A better way.
I believe a better way is self-love. But I won’t go into that here. I’ll just say that I generate self-love in my heart whenever my life gets too rough for me to endure. With self-love, I embrace myself through my day, I base my faith on that feeling, and I stay present with my reality, whatever it may be.
I use another tool to remain conscious: breathwork meditation. I firmly believe meditation will save humanity. Moreover, I believe there is no other way. This is the way!
Now, being clearly aware I am what’s wrong with the world today, I explore on. I keep asking myself what is it I can do? How can I improve or fix myself to contribute more beauty, peace, and love to this world?
It turns out that there’s nothing special we should be doing, in my humble opinion. We’re already doing the best we can. All of us. But wait! Isn’t that a dead end? Is there nothing we can do?
I honestly don’t think there is anything we can do right away apart from remaining present in self-love and aware of our “I am”. Our thoughts, emotions, feelings, and actions will steadily shift by themselves, without us even trying. And only that will be a sincere and lasting, sustainable way of fixing ourselves. That’s the long-term evolution.
Another question is, what is there that we can stop doing?
We can stop judging. We’re all together in this. Why would we choose to believe otherwise? What kind of proof do we ever have that anybody is eviler than we are? We’re all equal here. Remember, I am. Now, with that awareness, revisit all of your beliefs, convictions, and judgments.
Sure. We will do all kinds of bad stuff in life, we all do. While in denial and being insensitive, trying to protect ourselves or our loved ones, we’ll do anything. Afraid, hungry, hurt, frustrated, confused — we’ll do anything we believe is right. There’s nothing more to it. It’s so simple when we see it through the “I am” awareness.
Again, we can’t just stop ourselves overnight from being like that. We are doing the best we presently can. Let’s embrace ourselves through the hardest days and remain conscious. Breathe. Meditate. Open our hearts. Generate love. Choose to trust in love. And especially, stop judging others for being the same way we can be.
Just try it and you’ll see how liberating it is! Without your judgments, not much negativity or evil remains in the world. There are still accidents, natural catastrophes, pain, death. But just open up to the prospect of releasing all your judgments and feel the heavy burden lifting off your shoulders. Feel the knots untying in your belly. Feel your heart singing, your lips smiling, and your feet dancing through your day.
Most importantly, without judgments, we connect. We’re together and we feel it. We’re as one again. As we sense our interconnection, we also understand the grand scheme of things in Nature. Because it’s not only the humanity: it’s a whole wide world out there! Mother Earth, complete, loving, unconditionally supportive, with everything on Her.
Without judgments, there is trust. Hope. Faith.
I understand that it’s not easy to let go of our judgments. But it’s a process. It’s good to know, or believe, that it’s ultimately our choice alone how we see ourselves, the world, and others in it. We have this immense power of belief and with it comes the power of creation. We can create anything we want, if only we choose to believe in it.
That brings me back to “I am”. And to “you are”. And “we are”.
It’s your call what will you believe and choose. No matter what you think, you are responsible for this world, just like I am. You can deny it and suppress it, but eventually, it will surface again in your awareness. Why wait? It only makes it harder. Living a lie causes all our suffering. It’s never been them, or evil. Nobody is doing anything to anyone.
It’s always been just “I”. Now it’s time to face that. Embrace it. With self-love, we can do it. Forgive ourselves.
Life is too precious for anything less than love.